"Hello? You CAN hear me now!"

Ok seriously, cell phones are taking over the world, especially with dating. I understand that the days of good old fashioned courtship, you where the gentleman called on the lady, waited for her in the parlor, and all evening they just chatted away accompanied by a chaperon. And gone are the days of the apparently out of date form of communication known as "the phone call." And welcome to the age of the "text dating society"...what does that even mean?


We seem to be making it easier and easier for people to develop abusive tendencies. Before it was more that you had to be in their presence for things to escalate and for the most part you could get away from communication as long as you weren't home to answer the phone. But now we carry an abuse catalyst around with us in our pockets, purses, and backpacks. Some of the most dangerous are those of us that carry our abuser around in our ears!!! Talk about not being able to get that voice of control out of your head.

In this day and age we are so addicted to technology, we are cutting our own legs out from under ourselves. And it's not like we're only sitting around waiting for the person to call, we want texts, too. All of the sudden our self worth is gauged by how many text messages we do or do not get, particularly after a span of time or event when we weren't able to habitually check our phone. It's like we want to be controlled...we are allowing our phones to control us, why not a person?


Here are some tips from thesafespot.org:

• Remember, it is always okay to turn off your phone. (Just be sure your parent or guardian knows how to contact you in an emergency.)
• Do not answer calls from unknown numbers. Your abuser can easily call you from another line if he/she suspects you are avoiding him/her.
• Do not respond to hostile, harassing, abusive or inappropriate texts or messages. Responding can encourage the person who sent the message. You won’t get the person to stop – and your messages might get you in trouble and make it harder to get a restraining order or file a criminal report.
• Many phone companies can block up to ten numbers from texting or calling you. Contact your phone company or check their website to see if you can do this on your phone.
• Remember that pictures on cell phones can be easily shared and distributed. Be careful what images you allow to be taken of you.
• If you are in or coming out of a dangerous relationship, you should not be using any form of technology to contact your abuser. It can be dangerous and may be used against you in the future.
• It may seem extreme, but if the abuse and harassment will not stop, changing your phone number may be your best option.

Take control of your life, don't let is be controlled by a bunch of tiny metal pieces strategically placed together inside of a plastic box.